How to Choose a Strap-On Kit with the Right Dildo for You

A strap-on kit is more than just a harness and a dildo—it's a gateway to new kinds of play, intimacy, and self-expression. Whether you're shopping for yourself or a partner, the dildo you choose can make or break the experience. The right one feels comfortable, fits securely, and matches the kind of play you're excited to explore.

With so many options out there, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. That's why we've put together this guide to help you choose a strap-on kit dildo with confidence. We'll walk you through size, material, features, and beginner-friendly considerations, so you can find a kit that feels like it was made for you.

Start with Size: Finding the Right Fit

Size is the first thing most people think about when choosing a dildo for a strap-on, and for good reason. The right length and girth affect comfort, sensation, and how easy the dildo is to control. A good rule of thumb is to start smaller if you're new to penetration or strap-on play. A dildo around 5 to 6 inches in length and 1 to 1.5 inches in diameter is a comfortable starting point for most beginners.

More experienced users might prefer longer or thicker options, but remember that a larger dildo can be harder to maneuver, especially if you're still getting used to the harness. Think about what feels good for you and your partner, and don't be afraid to start modest and size up later. The goal is to find a kit dildo size that feels enjoyable, not intimidating.

• Measure the dildo's insertable length, not total length, to gauge what will actually be used.
• Consider girth: a thicker dildo can be more intense, but a slimmer one is easier for beginners.
• If you're unsure, choose a kit with a dildo that's on the smaller side—you can always upgrade later.

Material Matters: Silicone and Beyond

Material is just as important as size when it comes to comfort, safety, and durability. Silicone is the gold standard for strap-on dildos because it's body-safe, non-porous, and easy to clean. It also comes in a range of firmness levels, from soft and squishy to firm and rigid. Softer silicone is more forgiving and comfortable, while firmer silicone provides more pressure and stimulation.

When you're looking at a strap-on kit dildo material, always choose 100% silicone if possible. Avoid materials like jelly or PVC, which can contain phthalates and are harder to sanitize. Many kits, like the Shilo + Leather Harness Bundle, include a silicone dildo that's designed to work seamlessly with the harness. If you're buying a kit, check the product details to confirm the dildo is made from body-safe silicone.

• Look for '100% silicone' on the label to ensure body-safe, non-porous material.
• Softer silicone is better for beginners; firmer silicone offers more intense stimulation.
• Silicone dildos are easy to clean with mild soap and water or a dedicated toy cleaner.

Features That Make a Difference

Beyond size and material, certain features can enhance your strap-on experience. A flared base is essential—it keeps the dildo securely in the harness and prevents it from slipping out. Some dildos also have a curved shape that targets the G-spot or prostate, adding a new dimension to play. Others feature a realistic texture or a dual-density design that mimics the feel of skin.

If you want extra stimulation for the wearer, look for a kit that includes a bullet vibe or has a pocket in the harness for one. The Joque Strap-On Harness + Free Vibe is a great example of a kit that adds vibration to the mix. For those who want more control, a dildo with a suction cup base can be used hands-free or attached to a flat surface, giving you more options during play.

• Always choose a dildo with a flared base for safety and secure harness fit.
• A curved dildo can provide targeted G-spot or prostate stimulation.
• Consider a kit that includes a bullet vibe for added wearer pleasure.

Beginner-Friendly Options and Kits

If you're new to strap-on play, a kit that includes a harness and a beginner-friendly dildo is the easiest way to start. Look for a kit with a simple, adjustable harness and a dildo that's not too large or too firm. Many kits, like the Shilo + Leather Harness Bundle, pair a classic dildo with a comfortable harness, so you don't have to worry about compatibility.

Another option is to buy a harness and dildo separately, but that requires more research to ensure a good fit. For most beginners, a complete kit is the better choice—it takes the guesswork out of matching parts and often costs less than buying separately. If you're unsure what size to get, a starter dildo like the Starter Silicone Dildo — Clearance Sale is a great, budget-friendly option to try.

• A complete kit is easier for beginners—no need to worry about compatibility.
• Start with a dildo that's 5-6 inches long and 1-1.5 inches in diameter.
• Consider a kit with a harness that's easy to adjust and put on.

Choosing the right strap-on kit dildo is all about matching the size, material, and features to your comfort level and play preferences. Start with a body-safe silicone dildo that's a comfortable size, and don't be afraid to experiment. With the right kit, you'll be ready to explore new possibilities with confidence.